Stupid Cupid
by Sharp Tongued
Summary: Percy receives news that makes him run to the whiskey, and what happens next he couldn’t guess.


**Disclaimer:** Don't own. Not a piss to in to boot. Just play with JKR's creation.

**Summary:** Percy receives news that makes him run to the whiskey, and what happens next he couldn't think about.

**Notes: **Drunk Percy came into my head and wouldn't leave. I had to write him out. I would say he's a bit like Ron, really, in this state. Which I love, so here it is. Skoosie approved it, so now it's up y'all to comment and tell me what you like/didn't like about it.

**Notes 2:** As of 2/10/06, this has been rebetaed by me, so I hope it's a bit better.

Hindsight is twenty-twenty, or so the Muggle saying goes. Percy was quite in agreement with the statement, especially concerning love. Somehow in the past three hours he had managed to be broken up with by Penny, for another _girl_ to add injury to insult. Not just any girl at that. No, it had been his _sister_. He hadn't even known Ginny was inclined to gravitate to females in the first place. And he was still unsure where the two women had met up at to begin with.

Of course, now he could clearly recall instances in which Penny had admired another girl, much like his brothers had (especially Bill). Bugger. He had been unceremoniously dumped for his sister, and he hadn't even the foresight to realize his girlfriend of nearly eight years also had a penchant for girls.

He had intended to go to the Ministry, get some work done in the absence of a social life. That hadn't appealed however so instead he went to a hole-in-the-wall bar in Diagon Alley. Completely uncharacteristic, but then not every man was informed that his girlfriend prefers shagging his _sister_ rather than him. Right. It was time to indulge.

Ordering a Firewhiskey (the occasion called for a bottle, not just a sodding shot), he headed to a dark corner in the back, lest someone recognized him (by that infernal redhead hair, of course). Knowing that by the end of the night not even half the bottle would be gone, he sighed. So not only was he a terrible boyfriend, but he couldn't even manage to get pissed properly. The day was ending splendidly.

Closing his eyes while leaning back in the chair, unwelcome images of Penny and Ginny (_his baby sister_ for Merlin's sake!) in various states of undress ran through the mind. No, no, no. He did not need those images, ever. If only he hadn't walked in the room, therefore catching them in that compromising position (on _his _footstool, no less!). He shuddered violently, nearly spilling the contents from mouth to chest. No, no, no. More whiskey, less images, please.

Some visions were not needed from brother to sister, and sister with former lover. Oh, gads…he felt peaky suddenly. Swallowing hard, he kept the lack of food down. Good, more whiskey then.

Eyes flew open when a thunk announced another person arriving at his table. Attempting a scowl (another failure), he looked surprised to find a sandy-haired bloke sitting there. Being surprised, as for one reason he hadn't invited anyone to ruin this particular dismal attempt at getting utterly pissed, and two it was that bloke from Ron's year…Finnasomething. It occurred to him that perhaps he would have remembered the name better if he had been less inebriated and more sober. Who cared, though? Time to drown troubles; yes, yes, indeed.

"Hello, Percy."

Lilt in voice, definitely not English then. Right, Finnasomething had been from Ireland. He had lived in that green field at the Cup. Oh, good, facilities (or was that faculities?) were still semi-workable. Enough that he could send the boy – no, man now since he would be, what, twenty or so – away and drink more whiskey. Whiskey good. Boy bad. Twittering to himself, he turned it around to "good whiskey, bad boy." Hmm, whiskey was quickly becoming his best friend. Oliwhatever had been replaced. Speaking of the abysmal mate, where was he? Some best mate he was. Whiskey was the only friend now.

"Hello." Another sip from the bottle, reminding him of the time the twins had soaked his birthday cake in this awful stuff over six years ago, right before the break. Bloody hell. Grimacing, he managed to keep the taste down. Not even a third of the bottle this time. Wasn't age supposed to increase tolerance, not weaken it? In his almost drunk state, he decided to blame those nasty girls for it. At this point in time, he would blame anyone. Especially bad girls. Girls were foul. Evil.

"Been going along well, then?" Head titled, the blond looked rather charming. Of course, Percy conceded, it could have been the alcohol speaking.

"If getting along well means pleasantly pissed, then yes." Apparently, less-than-sober-Percy stated the obvious quite splendidly.

"Ah." Unsure of how to proceed with this more relaxed Percy, he cleared his throat. "Right. Well, how's that coming along?"

Owlish eyes from behind outdated glasses clearly stated to the younger man the obvious: swimmingly. A quirk of lips confirmed it. The redhead was close to being completely pissed, and found the Irishman's green eyes very pretty. Along with the slender column of neck, long fingers. Percy thought it best to stop that thinking, especially when he noticed the appealing shape of lips on the other man.

Seamus winced as "how's everything?" slipped out. Not the best thing to ask, really. Given what he had heard of the poor man's plight. Distracted, Percy completely forgot about the pretty Irishman in front of him.

"Bloody brilliant! Fucking fantastic!" Another gulp. "My girlfriend of eight sodding years just left me for my _baby sister_! How's that? Upon consideration, I've decided I can't shag properly, or she wouldn't have left me for my _baby sister_!" By the time his speech was done (and his voice had risen considerably), everyone in the bar was curiously peering at the irate redhead.

Seamus shied away from the purple-faced man. This was most certainly not the same person that seemed to have had a broom stuck up his arse while prefect.

"I'll just be on my –" What Percy was going to say was stopped by his promptly falling on his arse.

"Need a hand?" Seamus helped pull him up, which was rather difficult since the redhead was laughing insanely, and complete dead weight.

"Oops!" Curly hair fell in his face. "Stupid hair. Mum's fault. Dad's too. Not that we are talking. Especially since my girlfriend is now Ginny's." Another short burst of laughter followed. 'Haven't talked since I was promoted. Miss them sometimes, but really! Can't they support their son, even if he's not golden?" Blue eyes stared into some other color that his brain couldn't register. Green, that was it. He had just thought it not ten minutes before.

"Well, let's head to your flat, shall we?" There was no way this man could get home alone. He would surely splinch himself, not to mention the possibility of popping into the wrong flat and scaring someone silly.

"You know where I live?" Impressed, he smiled in a rather dopey manner.

"No," Seamus thought Dean was a terrible lagered up, but Percy had him beat by a long shot. "You're going to tell me."

"Oh," Crestfallen, he went back to steadying his feet. They just wouldn't listen properly at all. "345 Fox Hollow Drive. Close to here, actually." Finally, reaching a steady standing position and nodding to some question heard only in his head, he said, "yes," greatly confusing poor Seamus.

With that affirmation, Percy puckered lips up and planted a sloppy, and rather wet kiss, on Seamus's. Or that had been the intention. The actual result was lips under nose, tongue up nostril, a red-faced Percy looking confused as to what happened.

For his part, the blond just smiled in response, amused while Apparating to the flat. It had been interesting kissing (if it could be considered as such) the closet-case, for surely the man was. An untrained kisser, but better than Justin had been in sixth year, when he had kissed just to find out where his preferences had lain. It had been blokes all the way.

"Absolutely. Boys good, girls bad." Boarding on gibberish, the flat owner fell into the couch. The room was in perfect order. Seamus recognized this as the rather uptight man from school.

"I see." Seamus tucked a blanket around the older man. Ginny had informed him of the situation, and asked him to check up on her brother. Neither had expected Percy to be drunk, or remember him for that matter.

Bolting up suddenly, Percy nearly toppled Seamus on the floor with a quickly muttered "sorry" before heading to the loo. Seamus heard a retch that implied dinner and drink was coming up, turning his own pale complexion a bit paler. Water running, then a gag alluded to brushing teeth and Sober-Up Potion being done. Grimacing in sympathy (the potion was foul tasting), he sat comfortably on the couch, settling in. He wasn't leaving this floorshow just yet.

Percy walked in the room, appearing to be normal again, if the pinched facial expression was any indication. Perhaps Seamus would leave after all. Standing to do so, Percy stopped him with a terse "wait."

Pacing the room, Percy thought for a moment. First, Penny dumped him for Ginny (he wouldn't think of it, he wouldn't), and then he'd kissed this…Finnasomething boy (which was strange since he didn't like blokes, did he?) not four hours later. His life was an utter mess. "Sorry."

"For?" Smiling, Seamus didn't look too put out.

"That…er…" Finding the words to express a dead clumsy kiss was turning out harder than it appeared, especially to someone he still found attractive while sober.

Seamus felt bad for him then. "Kiss?"

"Yes, that." Relieved that the word had been spoken, he went in further explanation. "Also for my outburst. I assume my sister sent you to look for me, as I haven't seen you since the Quidditch Cup." Seamus's nod allowed him to go on further. "Well, you may tell her I'm perfectly fine."

"But are you?"

"What?" The question had thrown his line of thought out.

"Are you fine?" He didn't want to lie to his friend. Ginny had a mean left-hook.

"I will be. I've work to concentrate on." He stood still for a moment. "And…thank you for your…help."

Seamus decided that a flustered state suited Percy. It was rather endearing, reminiscent of Ron, actually. Not that he was barmy enough to suggest that at the moment, especially if he wanted a sober kiss. "No problem, Perce."

A smile at the blond, he sincerely apologized with, "If you don't mind, I've a headache and I think I need to sleep." If he were honest, he would say that time was needed to sort through the fact he had kissed another bloke. Male. Boy. Man. Right. Time to get Finnasomething out of here.

"All right. Fine, then?" A small laugh escaped as he remembered the outburst the last time he had asked. "Never mind." Grinning, he walked over and barely touched his lips to Percy's, so quickly that it wouldn't even truly count as a kiss.

Percy just stared at him, mute. Since Percy didn't look particularly upset, Seamus raised the stakes by grabbing him by his waist, pulling them close enough that their lips were inches apart but never touching. Smirking, he forced the older man to tilt his head back a bit when lips met again. Stepping away, the blond looked rather smug.

"Something to think about." Seamus would greatly enjoy teaching the other man about how to properly kiss. "Look me up, if you want better instructions."

With that he Apparated back to his own flat, leaving Percy blinking and trying to figure out what had just happened, and if he wanted it to happen again. Given the way his heart had sped up and breath was short, he would say yes.

Finnigan, that was it. He would look Finnigan up tomorrow. Tonight, he just needed to sleep. Not to mention his stomach was still rollicking along from the potion and alcohol. He had to wait until his world up-righted itself again. Licking his lips, which still tasted like peppermint and cinnamon and completely Seamus, he decided, to look him up tomorrow. Definitely.


End file.
